


Keeping Notes

by aexis1465



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I wrote this to practice writing in first person, M/M, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Pining, Slow Burn, Some angst, journal au, keith's pov, turned out really well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 14:19:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10220147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aexis1465/pseuds/aexis1465
Summary: When Pidge handed Keith their old school notebook and told him to document his time living with Lance, he couldn't believe it. Pidge wanted Keith to keep a journal. And for the first time in his life, even after so many people (Shiro included) told him to keep a journal, this situation sounded like it would need a journal to keep his thoughts in line.Because the paladins just defeated Zarkon and were now being given a break to go back to Earth and Keith would be spending his break with Lance. In Lance's home. Alone. With Lance.Before he could talk himself out of it, Keith took the notebook from Pidge. He would definitely need it.





	

~~Dear Journal,~~  
~~no, not doing that~~

Journal Entry One: October 13th

Before I start this I want it to be very clear to anyone that happens to read this:

This was Pidge Holt’s idea. Not Mine.

Now that that’s out of the way, I should probably tell you why Pidge came up with this idea.

We- the Paladins of Voltron and friends- defeated Zarkon. Well, we did for the time being. I recently overheard Coran and Allura discussing the fact that Zarkon had a son that they are expecting to take over. I’m not particularly looking forward to that. 

But anyway, the reason we I’m keeping this journal (that isn’t much of a journal, I mean it’s written in the back of Hunk’s old notebook from the Garrison) is because I have been forced to spend my time off from being the red paladin with Lance. At Lance’s house. 

The last thing I wanted when Allura announced we would all be given the chance to go back to Earth was for Shiro to loudly ask “Keith, what are you going to do?” Then before I could even answer, Lance announced that he had an extra room in his home I could stay at. Shiro said it sounded like a plan to him and then Pidge gave me this notebook and gave instructions to document my stay with Lance as if it was another one of their science experiments. 

Also, might I add that I never agreed to stay with Lance. I was fine with going back to my cave in the ~~dessert~~ desert and spending the next however long until Voltron is needed alone. 

I sound like a have a problem going with Lance. Let me clarify something yet again:

I do not have a problem with Lance McClain despite what he thinks.

He has had this weird concept for as long as I remember that we don’t like each other. I have never had a problem with Lance. Sure he is annoying, but he has never caused an actual problem that would cause me to dislike him the way he claims I do.

I only act like I dislike him because he has this rivalry with me that he wants to keep up. I should just let him win and let it be done. But I think he would just find a new rivalry between us. 

Shiro just knocked on the door to tell me we are lancing in fifteen minutes.  
I should probably start packing. 

How does one end journal entries?  
Not to self: find a proper ending.  
Keith Kogane  
Or just Keith  
I don’t know

* * *

Journal Entry Two: October 13th 

Saying goodbye to everyone was weird. 

The first person to leave was Hunk. He was dropped off on one of the Hawaiian islands. One of the smaller ones I don’t know the name of. He originally wanted to be brought back to the Garrison, but Pidge and Lance told him that’d be stupid because neither of his teammates would be there. I have to agree, why would he go back if he didn’t have teammates there? And, not to mention, he is the leg of Voltron. He saved the universe. Nothing he could learn at the Garrison would compare to what he learned while piloting the Yellow Lion. 

The next person that were were supposed to drop off was Pidge. We all had the idea that they would want to go home to their mother and rest up a bit. 

But that’d be ridiculous because it’s Pidge. 

So now they and Shiro are apparently going on an expedition to find their father and brother. I don’t think Shiro was originally going to, but as soon as Pidge mentioned Matt, Shiro insisted he needed to go. I knew he had a thing with Matt, but he will never admit it. 

Maybe he will when they reunite. In hopes that they reunite at least. 

The last thing I said goodbye to before stepping off of the castle was Red. I spend five minutes just sitting in the pilot seat, sitting with her for the last time in who knows how long. Before I’m with Lance for however long. 

Lance and I were dropped off near an airport in Florida. Apparently Lance is from Cuba, but he and his two eldest siblings moved with him to Florida shortly before he left for the Garrison. That’s what he told me; I’m not exactly sure why he chose Florida. The weather here is awful and the exact opposite to the weather in the desert (which is equally terrible, just saying). 

I guess he told his older brother and sister that he would be taking a plane here because they dropped off his beat up car in the parking lot for him. How Lance told them where to leave his car, I don’t know. And they didn’t even wait to see him, like what’s that all about? I get I don’t exactly have a stable family experience to back this up with, but wouldn’t his family want to see him after he has been gone for over a year? 

I guess it isn’t my place to question. 

I have no idea how long we’ve been driving, but I am counting the ~~ticks~~ seconds until we get there. I don’t understand how I can pilot a red space lion with no problem, but I can’t write in a notebook while someone else is driving without getting sick. 

I should probably stop writing.  
Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Three: October 13th 

I waited until I unpacked everything to write again. If I didn’t do it as soon as we got to Lance’s apartment, then I never would have. 

So to note the only surprising thing about Lance’s apartment is that it’s Lance’s Apartment. Like he is the only one who lives here and apparently has been the only one since he turned sixteen. It’s leased under his sister’s name, but he pays the rent money and the bills. Well, he said he has help with that, but he likes to pay as much as he can. I don’t really know where he gets the money from, but apparently he has a lot of it to spare.

Back to the rest of the apartment. It’s too bedrooms: one is Lance’s (I haven’t seen it) and the other is the guest bedroom that’s now mine. Unlike the walls of the rest of the place, these are white and the bed has white sheets. It looks like a hotel room. 

The rest of the house, however, looks perfectly imperfect. 

Let me explain. 

The walls of the living room are a fitting blue and the walls of the kitchen are yellow. They don’t match at all, but somehow it looked decent. All of the furniture and kitchenware is mismatched. There are pictures hung up abstractly on the walls, none of them line up together. 

Though my apartment would never look like this, it fits Lance. It feels like Lance’s apartment. 

It’s- nevermind, Lance is back with the groceries, should probably go help him with that. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Four: October 14th 

Nothing has happened all day. We both stayed in our bedrooms and caught up on well deserved sleep. Though around four, I could hear Lance watching TV. Based on the screams of “I leave for how long and come back to this!” and, my personal favorite, “Remind me to never save the galaxy if this is what I’m saving!” I think he was watching some reality show. 

I never went to go join him. It felt too awkward for some reason. I don’t know why. 

~~I wish I joined him.~~  
~~No I don’t.~~  
I wish I joined him

Keith 

* * *

Journal Entry Five: October 15th

I put my helmet on for the first time since getting to Lance’s apartment. It’s only been a few days, but it feels like it’s been so long since I last talk to any of the paladins that aren’t Lance. I didn’t think it was going to be so weird not talking to them everyday. 

When I first put on the helmet, it was just static for a few seconds. Then it tuned into a conversation Pidge and Shiro were having, I didn’t stick around long enough to figure out what they were talking about though. I didn’t want to eavesdrop. 

Though it was comforting to hear their voices and know they are safe. 

I want to know how Hunk, Allura, and Coran are doing but I don’t want to bother them. 

Maybe another time 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Six: October 16th 

We are currently on our way to meet Lance’s older brother and sister (and two other sisters? He mentioned they might be there, i don’t know). Honestly, I shouldn’t be this nervous. Why am I nervous? What do I have to be nervous about in this situation? 

The answer, in case you were dying to know is: nothing and everything. 

Lance is singing the annoying music coming from the radio. Every stoplight he turns and performs for me. 

I hate that I think it’s cute.  
~~it’s not cute~~  
It’s very cute. 

Note to self: stop lying to your journal, it won’t get you anywhere.  
Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Seven: October 16th

We are finally home (home? Is living with Lance home now? What constitutes home? Discuss later) and I have lost all energy I once had. 

His three sisters were there along with his oldest brother and oldest brother’s best friend who was “family” to them. 

The girls would not stop poking and asking questions. They wanted the biography of Keith Kogane no matter what it had to say. They didn’t even blink an eye when I said I lived in the ~~dessert~~ desert. 

(I’ll learn to spell it eventually)

The guys were just abrasive the entire time. And judging by how Lance was acting that was normal, but I just didn’t get it. Maybe I’ve spent too much time in my own bubble. It’s times like that that make me wish I had a brother that was like that. Sure I have Shiro, but he doesn’t fit the “big brother” thing Lance’s older brother and friend had going on. 

~~It was a dream come true when we got in the car to leave.~~

Wait! I forgot to mention what happened before that. 

All three girls hugged me. Which was odd in itself, but the oldest one whispered in my ear. She told me to take care of Lance and then she said I was really good for him.

What does that mean?? 

Okay, anyway, back to what I was saying.

It was a dream come true when we got in the car to go home (back to the home thing, i guess). Lance sang his songs the entire time. 

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sing with him.  
And I said I’d stop lying in this journal.  
So it’s possible I sang in the car with him. 

Keith.

* * *

Journal Entry Eight: October 18th

We have a domestic routine now.  
I don’t know how it started, but I love it.  
It’s only been like six days, but I am loving living here with Lance.  
I wonder how he feels about it. 

We wake up early together everyday. I don’t know at what point being part of Voltron turned me into a morning person, but here we are, waking up at six in the morning everyday. 

Anyway, I make breakfast every morning while Lance goes for a walk or run. He times it perfectly everyday so by the time he gets home and out of the shower, breakfast is done and we eat together. Then we watch TV together until lunch time. 

At lunch we eat at different times. He prefers and early lunch and I prefer a later lunch, so we eat in our rooms and do our own thing until dinner time. 

Dinner is my favorite point in the day. 

We cook together, eat together, and then we clean up the apartment together. Lance will do the dishes, singing loudly whatever song he has stuck in his head, while I sweep and vacuum the apartment. 

With the system we’ve set up, you’d think we’ve been living together for years instead of less than a week. I’d be okay if it lasted forever. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Nine: October 19th 

Today I stole a car. 

Okay, I didn’t, I just borrowed Lance’s. But this journal is like all feelings about Lance and nothing super interesting has really happened. Stealing cars is interesting. I can literally hear Shiro saying, “No Keith, theft of an automobile is a felony.” 

Well Shiro, I can do what I want.  
That was dumb because Shiro will never read this.  
Hopefully. 

Anyway back to my car escapade. 

I drove around for awhile until I found a library. I love libraries so much, it’s pretty ridiculous. The smell of old and new books, even just being surrounded by shelves of hundreds of stories. The idea is just comforting to me. 

I remember before I went to the Garrison (so middle school, I think?) when I was still living in that awful foster home with Shiro, I would go to the library almost everyday after school. I used the library as an escape from the crowded foster home and from what used to happen there. 

But let’s not get into that. 

Sitting around all of these books while I write makes me think about how I’ll be in history books. I helped save so many planets- technically the universe, but I don’t think Earth every knew about the gulra. And it isn’t like I can ask without looking ridiculous. 

“Hey I was just wondering if you guys happened to know about purple aliens that wanted to destroy Earth? Oh you don’t, I figured. Wait, why are you walking away?” 

Not a conversation I want to have. 

But Voltron was such a big part of people’s lives. I’m the reason a lot of people are alive right now. 

I guess I’m more important that I thought. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Ten: October 19th 

I need to write this down so when I wake up tomorrow morning I know I didn’t make it up. 

When I got home from the library, I heard Lance talking on the phone (it could have been his helmet though, I don’t know) with someone about me. He kept talking about how he likes living with me. His exact words were:

“It’s nice having someone to come home to even if I never leave. We could live together for the rest of our lives and I would be perfectly content.” 

I like living with him too, but I think it’s different. He likes having “someone” and I like having Lance.

I don’t know. I need to take a nap. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Eleven: October 23rd

Though the past four days have been hell, they could have been worse. Much worse. Everyday was filled with anxiety and dread and a range of other emotions I don't know how to properly express. Maybe if I was more of a well-rounded person I would be able to. 

Every morning (except for the First day), Lance would wake me up so I didn't sleep all day. He would come in each morning with some variation of “good morning! If you feel like talking today, I'll be in the apartment. If you need anything, just ask!” 

I ignored him three of the four times he did this, yet he still came back each morning. When I was younger, Shiro would stop if I didn't talk after day 2. It was comforting knowing Lance cared enough to keep coming to check on me.

As if he wasn't already taking a huge step for me, he also brought food and water every day. Then a few hours later he would come back in, take the dishes, and remind me to shower on his way out the door. 

I don't think I'd be functioning if he weren't there.

On the third day, Lance left my helmet on the side of my bed. It had a note that read:

”talked to shiro, he said to have you call him when you woke up. Hope you feel better!” 

There was a heart drawn at the bottom. I stuck the note in the nightstand drawer and pushed the helmet off of the bed. I can call Shiro later.

Lance came in when he heard the helmet drop. He asked if everything was Okay, and in a fit of bravery I didn't know I had, I asked him to lay down with me. 

Without complaining or making any snide comments like I thought he would, he lied down behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. We lied there quietly. I wish it didn't have to end. 

Unfortunately, things have a thing where they tend not to go in my favor. Lance’s phone started to ring once and he ignored it, but then They called again it turned out to be his mother so he left. He was speaking to her angrily in Spanish, I have no idea if he will ever tell me what he said. 

Now that I'm writing while he talks quickly to his mother, I'm realizing how much I wish I had someone like Lance years ago. When I went to the Garrison, when I left the Garrison, when we were fighting Zarkon- all of it would have been better if the day ended with Lance behind me in bed. 

I guess it's not a matter of when I needed or wanted him, but the fact that I have him now. And that's enough for me. 

~~but I don't actually have him.~~

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Twelve: October 23rd

I spoke to Shiro and Red. 

Red obviously didn't have much to say, but she listened to everything I had to say and sitting in silence with her was just as comforting. Though I didn't say much either. Just reassured her that I'm safe with Lance. That I'm happy with Lance. 

Shiro was much more talkative than Red. 

He told me if I was having bad days again that I needed to go to a doctor. He knows I hate the doctor, and he also knows the doctor isn't going to do anything. 

Before Shiro left for the Garrison, he took me to the doctor. He said I would need medication or something for when he wasn't here to make sure I “didn't do something stupid.” 

The doctor didn't give me anything. He basically said my bad days came from being a teenager, that I would grow out of it. 

I'm still a teenager, but it's been four-ish years since then and t hasn't gone away. I still don't even know what it is.

I told Shiro it would be okay because I had Lance. Lance would help me- Lance did help me.  
I hope I'm not wrong about that. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Thirteen: October 24th 

Today Lance took me out for breakfast. I don't know if you could count it as breakfast considering it was at three in the morning, though. 

He must have heard me being awake because he knocked at the door and asked me if I wanted to go get something to eat. I took the opportunity to leave the house.

We ended up at Denny’s at a time when no one but tennagers out last curfew go to Denny’s. But if you think of it, in a way, we were teenagers out past curfew. 

Whatever. We get the excuse because we saved the universe. 

The food was terrible. I miss the space goo Hunk and Coran used to make. It was also kinda awful, but it wasn't as bad as the food we ate at Denny’s. 

I didn't care about the food, I was just happy to be out of the house. 

I'm getting used to singing in the car with Lance. younger me would rather die than be caught singing in the car, yet here older me is: singing in the car. 

I'm taking the longest nap when I get home. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Fourteen: October 25th 

Lance’s neighbour invited us to a Halloween party next week. I have never been to a party. I'm nervous. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Fifteen: October 29th

Don’t wait until two days before Halloween to get a costume shopping. Ever. There is no excuse. Don’t do it. 

We went to about six different stores until we found one that had some costumes left. But they only had the costumes in the girl section left, which didn’t made it awkward, but we needed costumes and we were desperate. 

Not desperate enough to wear the paladin suits like I suggested, apparently. Because I was forced to wait outside the dressing rooms to judge every costume Lance tried on. He looked good in all of them (and he knew he did), I don’t know why he needed my opinion. 

Regardless, I was sitting next to this old woman who was there with her granddaughter (I think??) and she was nothing but friendly the entire time. Everytime Lance walked back into his dressing room to try on the next costume, she would tell me that I was being really nice to him and to keep it up. Then when her granddaughter walked out with her costume back in its bag, she told me I was lucky to have a boyfriend like Lance before she left. 

I couldn’t even say anything before she left and Lance came back out. He was wearing a “Sexy fairy” costume, I guess, and he said that based on my reaction that was the one he needed to buy. Little did he know my reaction was to the sweet elderly lady that just left, but he did look great in that costume. 

I just picked up a genie costume. I was fine with just buying it and going back home, but Lance said I needed to try it on. I couldn’t tell him no, so I ended up trying it on. I refused to leave the dressing room which was incentive enough for Lance to invite himself into the small room with me to see how the costume looked. He kept telling me I looked really good, but I just brushed it off. I didn’t look nearly as good as he did. 

A problem didn’t happen until I was trying to push him out of the room so I could change back into my normal clothes. I pushed him lightly out of the way (if he wasn’t going to leave, I at least needed him to move over), and Lance, Mr. Overdramatic, practically threw himself against the thin walls, causing the walls to shake. 

As if making that scene was bad enough, the whole ordeal prompted an employee to ask us if everything was alright. To which Lance said that everything was fine, but that we would be another minute. The worker sighed and walked away before coming back with the manager as we walked out of the small room. 

Let me set the scene a little better for you:  
Both of our clothes were disheveled, along with out hair, and Lance was forming a bruise where he hit the wall. It looked like we just got done in a fist fight or sex. The manager thought the latter. 

I had to spend five minutes getting us out of the situation while Lance just laughed behind me. We left the store with the costumes and a year long ban from the store. Well the jokes on that manager, next year we will just come back for our costumes a day before Halloween instead of two. 

Or we will get out lives together and go like two weeks before.  
Or we will be back in space saving the universe. The universe he lives in might I add. 

We then had to go to another store to buy four things of the shitty face paint/make-up stuff. Lance insisted on four pack so we could “practice tomorrow” and then “perform the day after.” 

I’m not too excited to wear the stuff, but Lance is so I will go along for his sake. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Sixteen: October 30th 

Don’t ever let Lance put make-up on you. This was a mistake. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Seventeen: October 30th 

Don’t ever let Lance put makeup on himself. He looks incredible. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Eighteen: November 1st

I have made many mistakes in my life. 

For example, when I first met Shiro I stepped on his cat’s tail. That was definitely a mistake. 

Another example: having sex with Lance McClain after a halloween party. While we were both drunk. While we were dressed as a sexy fairy and a genie. 

Waking up in Lance’s bed was a bittersweet experience. Sure there have been nights I wanted nothing more to just lie in bed and watch his stupid reality shows with him, but I never did. But when I woke up in Lance’s bed with no clothes on I panicked. The costumes were discarded to the floor, the blanket only covered our lower halves, and I could see the light bruises on Lance’s hips. Bruises that fit the shape of my hands really well. 

I slowly got out of bed to not wake him, but as soon as I was out form the blanket, I collected my stuff and ran out of the room. It looked like I was never there. That’s how I want to keep it. 

He can’t know it was me he slept with. He dislikes me too much. 

When he woke up to make us breakfast, he said nothing. If he doesn’t want to bring it up, neither will I. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Nineteen: November 1st 

Lance was cleaning up the kitchen after lunch while I sat in my room. He didn’t know, but I heard him on the phone with someone talking about how he slept with someone the night before. 

I want to tell anyone that will listen that I slept with him, but I can’t. If I tell any of the paladins, they would tell him. Or guilt me into telling him. 

I’ll just deal with it on my own. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Twenty: November 3rd

I spent all day yesterday thinking about this and I think I am willing to admit it. Well, not admit it, but at least writing it down in here.

I love Lance McClain.

I am in love with the pilot of the blue lion.

I have strong feelings for a Cuban friend of mine.

I had a plan to list out more ways to say it, but we could be here all day. Not that I have anything else going on (other than hiding from Lance), but I don’t want to fill up the notebook with Lance. It would be too much like in cliche movies when the girl writes her name with the guy’s last name in like her English notebook.

Except I’d be the guy writing my name with the other guy’s name in a space engineering notebook that isn’t even mine. 

Reminder: Do not give this notebook back to Pidge. 

Back to the topic on hand, I don’t think I could write that if he was still in the apartment.  
That makes it sound like he ran away. He just left to see his brother.

I called Shiro (and Pidge by a technicality with the helmets) as soon as the door closed. They d  
didn’t answer, so I went to Hunk. This was a weird call on my part, I admit, because Hunk is Lance’s best friend. But Hunk is also one of the most trustworthy people I know. I don’t have to worry about him telling Lance, I have to worry about him convincing me to tell Lance. 

This is embarrassing, but I cried on the phone with Hunk for over an hour. Don’t judge me, I saved the universe, slept with the guy I like, admitted that I loved him, and not once did I let my emotions slip. My bad that I have some pent up feelings. 

I heard the front door open and immediately hung up, though. I feel bad for doing that to Hunk without saying goodbye, but Lance was home and I was a mess. 

Lance walked in with two milkshakes and smiling, but his face dropped when he saw me crying. He set the milkshakes on top of my dresser by the TV and hugged me tightly on the bed. He didn’t ask any questions, but it made me cry harder when he hugged me. 

I don’t deserve Lance. 

We were like that for a few hours, eventually moving to lie down. He held me close to his chest the entire time trying to calm me down. 

I really don’t deserve Lance. 

He fell asleep at some point, that’s when I slipped away from him to write this. The milkshakes are melted and warm now, I’m sure my room will smell like spoiled milk when we wake up tomorrow, but I can’t bring myself to leave the room right now. 

I’m going to fall asleep next to Lance, which feels like taking advantage of him. He is asleep, he didn’t ask for me to cuddle up to him while we sleep, but it’s too tempting. 

Lance doesn’t need someone like me.  
But that’s something to deal with in the morning.  
Throw it straight in the garbage along with those milkshakes and my shitty decisions. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Twenty-One: November 6th

Lance confronted me today. ~~Well less of confronted and more of like~~ No, he confronted me. 

He took me out for lunch, we had a picnic at the park. And in hindsight, he took me somewhere public so I wouldn’t make a scene. Jokes on him, I still made a scene. Kinda. 

It wasn’t awkward, but there was tension for sure. I mean it’s been there since after Halloween, but it hasn’t been addressed. Until Lance decided to ask me what was wrong. He asked me if it was something he did. He went on about how he blames himself for just about everything that goes wrong ever. 

It broke my heart to hear him talk like that. 

He is perfect and I want to tell him that.

I feel really stupid now, but I practically yelled “We slept together and I love you” at him. And he thanked me. 

Now out of every awkward love confession I’ve heard of, this one isn’t the worst but it was still the most awkward thing ever. Then we had a moment of silence for the awkwardness that had just taken place. Then he kissed me and said, “Race you back to the car.” 

It was the first time we didn’t sing to the radio together.  
I miss it. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Twenty-Two: November 6th

I work in a field of science. Well “work.” I know some shit about science. 

I know a catalyst is something that starts a reaction. 

I didn’t think the catalyst to the situation I’m currently would have been me leaving my bedroom to go to the library. It’s such a mundane thing.

Lance walked out almost as soon I shut my bedroom door. He looked like he just finished crying and like he was going to do it again when he asked me if I was leaving. I assured him I wasn’t going to leave, that I have absolutely no intentions of just leaving him, and that I was just trying to give him some space. 

He literally said, “I’ve spent the past however long in actual space, I don’t need any space.” 

We started talking about how we felt about each other. It was awkward, but really sweet. He said he had our rivalry out of jealousy and that he wouldn’t mind “Dating the best pilot around.” I told him the same thing I said before: that I love him and that I wouldn’t mind “Dating the second best pilot around.” 

He hugged me tightly and said he was glad we talked. Hugs are becoming our thing.  
Then he left to go back to his room. 

I feel really stupid for thinking anything would come out of that talk. Why do I keep hoping something is going to happen? I need to stop. 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Twenty-Three: November 8th

Lace is my boyfriend.

My boyfriend is Lance

That guy? He’s my boyfriend, his name is Lance.

Don’t fuck with my boyfriend Lance. 

I need to cool it with the movie cliches here. But I think I’m excused because, if you haven’t already hear:

I am officially dating Lance. 

I had a shitty two days, and then something amazing happened. It seems to be the new theme in my life. 

The first day, Lance waited until dinner to walk into my room. He brought in grilled cheese that I guess he made. He didn’t say anything though, just set down the food and a drink and he left. 

Well he left after he kissed my forehead.  
Reminding me of the day before.  
Causing me to cry.  
I have to get my emotions back in check, I’ve never cried this much.

The second day, I guess I was crying loud enough for him to hear me when he woke up because he walked into my room and lied down behind me, holding me as tightly a he had every other time he’s done this. 

I asked him why he was holding me, and he just said, “Well, I can’t have my boyfriend sad, now can I? That’d be ridiculous. What kind of boyfriend would that make me?” 

Why is he so perfect? 

Keith

* * *

Journal Entry Twenty-Four: November 15th 

So I am running out of pages, so I was trying to wait until something super interesting happened. 

But nothing super interesting has happened. 

I did talk to the other paladins and told them everything was resolved and that Lance and I were together. Shiro, being the person he is, told me I should write I letter to Lance and a letter to my future self on the last two pages. And considering this isn’t that long, I guess I’ll do that. 

So @ this old notebook of Pidge’s: thanks for keeping all my thoughts together. One day I’ll look at this and then stop reading it, but the second time I look at it I’ll probably think it was cute instead of awkward. 

~~I just thanked a notebook.~~  
~~I should just stop.~~  
Whatever, this was a unique experience. 

Keith

* * *

Future Keith, 

I only have half a page before I write Lance’s, so I need to condense this. But no matter how awful my handwriting is, I expect you to be able to read it because you are me. So enjoy this small, cramped handwriting. 

First off, make sure if we ever marry Lance we pick the last name that sounds best for us and Lance. I think either one works, but be careful with the whole hyphen thing people like to do. Sometimes it makes the name too long and then it’s a whole thing. 

Next up, you need to keep you thoughts together. I’ve done a really good with this journal, it was really theraputic and you need to keep that going so we don’t have a full on nervous breakdown when we are sixty. 

Tell all of your friends you value them. I can recognize that I’m too awkward to bring that up now, but they need to hear it more often. They are all great people and should have the recognition for that. 

And finally: Do not, under and circumstances, fuck up what we have with Lance. I don’t care what he does, just don’t do it. I’m trusting you with this. 

From,  
Keith.

* * *

~~Dear Lance,~~  
~~I still can’t start things like this~~

Lance, 

About a month ago you dragged me to your humble apartment in the middle of Florida. I am still not used to the weather or being really anywhere except for the desert, but I’ve had a good time here. 

I haven’t told you this since the first two times, but I love you. I really think I do. Which sounds really ridiculous as I read that over, dating for about a week and I already love you. I would say I get the right to say it though, I’ve known you since I was like 14, it isn’t my fault I didn’t notice I liked you until recently (or maybe it is, I don’t know). I think I’ve used this scenario before, but I would fight off the entire Gulra fleet on my own a million times if it meant I would be with you the way I am now. 

So, let’s get into some backstory stuff for a second. 

You know I’ve been through a ton of foster homes before I ended up at the Garrison and then in the ~~dessert~~ desert. And I never really had a strong parent figure in my life (other than Shiro, but I’d say he is more of a brother). But once I was in this foster home for maybe two weeks, definitely no more than three weeks, but the lady that ran the house was in a bad spot. Her husband just left her with all these kids that she couldn’t take care of, but she was too nice to refuse taking in anymore. 

One day I found her in her bedroom crying. I was still new to the home and I wasn’t really comfortable around anyone, but something compelled me to go talk to her. She didn’t really say anything for awhile, I think she was just content with not being alone. Granted, I don’t think she wanted the comfort from a nine year old orphan, but she was desperate. 

Anyway, we sat on her bed in silence for about thirty minutes. We knew we would have to leave soon because the silence was slowly disappearing as the kids in the living room were becoming restless as it neared dinner time. Before we went outside she told me that some people are only lucky enough to find love once in their life. That they have the misfortune of only having one shot and that they can’t mess it up. She said that she messed up her only chance and that she was telling me because none of us know if we only have one chance. But incase we do, we have to treat every instance of love like it’s out last. 

You are my love, Lance. I don’t know how long you’ll be around, but I’ll be around for you forever. For as long as you need me and then some. I can’t see myself ever leaving you, but in my worst nightmares, I can see you leaving me. And if it ever comes to you being with me and you being happy, go with being happy. I’ll always be there for you in any situation, even if the thought of the situation makes me sick to my stomach. 

I had plans to go on, but I think that’s a nice place to leave off.  
~~I’m also running out of paper.~~

Love,  
Keith

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any voltron prompts/requests/headcanons you want to talk about, feel free to leave a comment or message me on my tumblr [@aexis1465](http://aexis1465.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! <333


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